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You will grab
attention in any way you possibly can. Self-immolation is not
out of the question. You like to kiss mirrors a lot. Genghis
Khan was a Leo, and so is Barney the Dinosaur. People still
love Lucy, but less because she was a Leo. Leos will interrupt
conversation to talk, and they will place themselves bodily in
the way of someone who is trying to leave before the Leo is
finished saying what he or she needs to say. All Leos want
parades on their birthdays.
Leos never marry because no one is good enough for them. If
they do marry, they keep their spouses locked under the
bathroom sink. They need physical affection at all times;
unfortunately, they can't find any because everyone thinks
they are irritating punks. This is why so many of the people
arrested for necrophilia are Leos. A Leo uses himself as an
example of the Overman in order to describe philosophical
concepts.
Some Leos decide to be homosexual even if they aren't, because
they think this gives them shock value. It actually means that
neither gender will want to hook up with them. In actuality,
anything besides a romantic evening with themselves is
considered a step down for the Leo. Leos open doors by
screaming at them. They expect their Clappers to applaud when
they enter a room. Leos are said to resemble lions. This means
that they are loud, have cleft upper lips and slimy noses, and
s**t under trees as they walk. They snack on monkeys while
watching "Entertainment Tonight".
Humility frightens Leos. That is why Jesus was a Capricorn,
Buddha was an Aries, and so forth. However, "radical cult
leader" is not out of the question. Leos like to start
fights with Aries. They will stomp and bloody each other
regardless of whether or not they are in public. In fact, the
Leos usually prefer it. You will see these fights taking place
at bars, sporting events, fashion shows, or Taco Bell. If you
are a clever Capricorn, you will sell tickets. Don't worry
about hanging posters--Leo will take care of that in advance.
Aquarians hang posters of rock stars on their walls. Scorpios
hang posters of famous disasters on their walls. Capricorns
hang posters of great mathematicians on their walls. Pisceans
hang posters of unicorns on their walls. Leos hang posters of
themselves on their walls.
Date of
Birth: 23 JULY - 23 AUGUST
Your ruling planet: Sun
Your lucky numbers: 1, 4
Day of the week: Sunday
Gemstones: Ruby
Colours: Red, Orange
Metals: Gold
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