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Libra
: Love
| Work
| Health
| Personality
| Money
| Sexuality |
You are
elegant and tasteful to the point of incurring nausea from
loved ones. You are also bipolar as hell and can't make a
decision on your own. You usually consult your therapist or TV
Guide. Libras are trendy and malleable folks. They are funny
because they will glom onto something they hated before if it
suddenly becomes fashionable. Velour is not entirely lost upon
these people. Libras eat a lot of ethnic food from cultures
they don't understand. They single-handedly started the
cappucino movement. Ask them why, and they will claim
something unintelligible about solidarity.
You constantly worry about what other people think. If you
really paid any attention, maybe people would like you more.
Libras use quotes from David Mamet plays to describe
philosophical concepts. Then they have those concepts engraved
upon nice little wallet cards. The Libran interest in current
events ends with the J. Crew catalog. They don't eat fast food
or have any clue where their trash goes. They have other
people tie their expensive shoes. Only two Libras have ever
been found in thrift stores. All of their bell-bottoms were
color-coordinated to match their lamé turtlenecks.
Libras are always on the cutting edge of what the rest of us
think is absolute pretentious bulls**t. They have huge
collections of CDs they've never even listened to. Libras give
to designer charities. Hollywood is full of Libras. You are
the reason butterfly hairpins and parachute pants have made a
comeback. Next on the list is those big jam shorts. You
probably never threw out your old pair. Hang on to your Winger
t-shirt too. Get a Libra as drunk as possible and he or she
will still be able to explain the difference between café
latté and café au lait. This is peculiar as the rest of us
know that there is no difference at all.
Date of
Birth: 23 SEPTEMBER - 22 OCTOBER
Your ruling planet: Venus
Your lucky numbers: 1, 2
Day of the week: Friday
Gemstones: Coral, Sapphire
Colours: Blue
Metals: Copper
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