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You got into
computers early so you could use made-up, bulls**t terminology
and get away with it. Most hackers are Scorpios, as are most
people who think they're going to find fame on a chat board.
You embarrass Libras because you like your coffee straight out
of the bag, eaten with a spoon. You may have actually snorted
Chock Full o' Nuts at one time in your life. You take your
paranoid beatnik approach to life very seriously. Many
Scorpios have found ways to successfully smoke in the shower.
Your number-one grudge is about never having been abducted by
aliens, or being the victim of a government conspiracy. Most
of those fake virus warnings or cash offers from Bill Gates
are your attempt to stir something up. Ironically, Bill Gates
is a Scorpio. The fully-automated barracks he lives in should
clear up any doubt.
Your master plan for world domination will never work because
it involves you at the helm. It is hard for you to accept that
Star Trek is fiction, and you are not a Borg leader. Scorpios
use expletives to describe philosophical concepts. It's no
wonder that Halloween falls smack in the middle of the Scorpio
range. This is the only time of year when fake hauntings,
sugar-induced hysteria, and impersonating Dr. Who won't get
you arrested.
Scorpios have strong sex drives, because it gives them yet
another opportunity to smoke. Scorpios have much advice to
give on matters that are of no concern to them. If you want to
find out if someone is a Scorpio, ask them a pertinent
question. Five minutes of silence later, the answer will be
"I'm sorry, what?" Scorpios are often hairy and feel
that this makes them more virile. This is especially true of
Scorpio women. Scorpios cheat at the lottery. If it's
automated, they can hack it.
Date of
Birth: 23 OCTOBER - 22 NOVEMBER
Your ruling planet: Pluto
Your lucky numbers: 2, 7
Day of the week: Tuesday
Gemstones: Opal, Ruby
Colours: Dark red
Metals: Iron
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